A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. 
~ Erma Bombeck 

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A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer. 
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca 

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A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present. 
~ Thomas Fuller 

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About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm. 
~ Kurt Vonnegut 

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All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. 
~ George Harrison 

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Being seventy is not a sin. 
~ Golda Meir 

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Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new. 
~ Sammy Hagar 

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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. 
~ Steven Wright 

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God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. 
~ Voltaire 

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Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. 
~ Doug Coupland 

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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? 
Satchel Paige 

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I binge when I'm happy. When everything is going really well, every day is like I'm at a birthday party. 
~ Kirstie Alley 

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I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up. 
~ Isla Fisher 

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I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too. 
~ Liv Tyler 

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I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course. 
~ Ruth Warrick 

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I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face. 
~ Stephen Hopkins 

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I hate birthdays. 
~ Zane Grey 

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I often buy myself presents. Sometimes I will spend $100,000 in one day in a posh boutique. 
~ Celine Dion 

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I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn't see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music. 
~ Barry White 

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' 
Steven Wright