Computer Quotes -BoysJoys

computer

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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.  ~Doug Larson


If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees.  That'll do them in.  ~Author Unknown


The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.  ~Author Unknown


Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.  ~Author Unknown


To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.  ~Bill Vaughan, 1969 (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)


Treat your password like your toothbrush.  Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.  ~Clifford Stoll


User, n.  The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."  ~Dave Barry


Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.  ~Edsger W. Dijkstra


Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.  ~Joseph Campbell


Computing is not about computers any more.  It is about living.  ~Nicholas Negroponte


Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~David Dixon, 1998, winning entry of the Haiku Error Messages 21st Challenge by Charlie Varon and Jim Rosenau, sponsored by Salon.com


Computers, huh?  I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.  ~From the television show King of Queens, spoken by the character Doug Heffernan


After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.  ~John Pierce


Hardware:  where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is.  Software:  where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.  ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top


But they are useless.  They can only give you answers.  ~Pablo Picasso, about computers


Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.  ~Author Unknown


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
~Suzie Wagner, 1998


As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke.  It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.  ~Scott Adams ("Dogbert")


If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.  ~Scott Adams


Database:  the information you lose when your memory crashes.  ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.  ~Mitch Ratcliffe


Back up my hard drive?  How do I put it in reverse?  ~Author Unknown


Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.  ~Andy Rooney


Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it.  ~Author Unknown


Hardware:  the parts of a computer that can be kicked.  ~Jeff Pesis


I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere.  ~Author Unknown


I just wish my mouth had a backspace key.  ~Author Unknown


Spreadsheet:  a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.  ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top


Don't explain computers to laymen.  Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.  ~Robert A. Heinlein


If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.  ~One of Murphy's Laws of Technology


A picture is worth a thousand words but it takes 3,000 times the disk space.  ~Author Unknown


If it draws blood, it's hardware.  ~Author Unknown