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Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988

The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.  ~William B. Yeats

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.  ~Author Unknown

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.  ~Author Unknown

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.  ~Woody Allen

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.  ~Woody Allen

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.  ~Jay Leno

Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the answer.  ~Swami X

Men get laid, but women get screwed.  ~Quentin Crisp

It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance.  ~Elizabeth Taylor

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.  ~Author Unknown

A dirty book is rarely dusty.  ~Author Unknown

Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.  ~Author Unknown

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:  One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.  The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.  ~Butch Hancock

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader

The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.  ~William H. Masters

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered:  entertainment, food, and affection.  It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection.  As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.  When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating.  Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.  ~Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln

My reaction to porn films is as follows:  After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw.  After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.  ~Erica Jong, Playboy Magazine, September 1975

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.  ~Mark Twain, Notebooks, 1935

What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh.  ~Henry Fielding

Sex is God's joke on human beings.  ~Bette Davis

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.  ~Woody Allen

Against diseases here the strongest fence
Is the defensive vertue, Abstinence.
~Robert Herrick, "Abstinence"

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull.  It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all.  Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.  ~Henry Louis Mencken

AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences:  suicide.  Or murder.  ~Susan Sontag

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex.  People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.  ~Elton John

There's nothing better than good sex.  But bad sex?  A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.  ~Billy Joel

The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget.  ~William Osler

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.  ~Truman Capote

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.  ~Woody Allen

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.  ~Louise Sammons

Men wake up aroused in the morning.  We can't help it.  We just wake up and we want you.  And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?"  It's because we can't see you.  We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.  ~Andy Rooney

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.  ~Author Unknown

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.  ~Groucho Marx

Sex is emotion in motion.  ~Mae West

Love's mysteries in souls do grow,
But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne, Extasy

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!  ~George Bernard Shaw

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.  ~John Waters