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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.  ~Will Rogers

When there's a single thief, it's robbery.  When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation.  ~Vanya Cohen

Taxation with representation ain't so hot either.  ~Gerald Barzan

Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.  ~Ronald Reagan

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.  ~Laurence J. Peter

I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.  ~Arthur Godfrey

The United States has a system of taxation by confession.  ~Hugo Black

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?  ~Peg Bracken

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.  Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.  ~Will Rogers

Unquestionably, there is progress.  The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.  ~H.L. Mencken

The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose.  ~William Simon

We must care for each other more, and tax each other less.  ~Bill Archer

The expenses of government, having for their object the interest of all, should be borne by everyone, and the more a man enjoys the advantages of society, the more he ought to hold himself honored in contributing to those expenses.  ~Anne Robert Jacques Turgot

Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.  ~Robert Heinlein

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.  ~Jean Baptist Colbert, attributed

What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.  ~Thomas Paine

Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?"  ~Author Unknown

We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability.  But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two.  "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." ~Erwin N. Griswold

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.  ~Herman Wouk

Capital punishment:  The income tax.  ~Jeff Hayes

If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer!  ~John Andrew Holmes

Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass.  The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there.  I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture").  ~Dave Barry

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes:  men and women.  ~Author Unknown

Taxes:  Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.  ~Author Unknown

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.  ~Ogden Nash

It's income tax time again, Americans:  time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.  ~Dave Barry

Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant:  animals have instincts, we have taxes.  ~Erving Goffman

The purse of the people is the real seat of sensibility.  Let it be drawn upon largely, and they will then listen to truths which could not excite them through any other organ.  ~Thomas Jefferson

To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.  ~Benjamin Tucker, Instead of a Book

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.  ~Alfred E. Neuman

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.  ~Author Unknown

Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.  ~Nancie J. Carmody

The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.  ~John S. Coleman, address, Detroit Chamber of Commerce, 1956

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

It was as true... as taxes is.  And nothing's truer than them.  ~Charles Dickens

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.  ~J.C. Watts, Jr.

The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.  ~Author Unknown