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The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time.  They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.  ~Quentin Crisp

Little children, headache; big children, heartache.  ~Italian Proverb

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.  ~Laurence J. Peter

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own.  ~Logan Pearsall Smith, "Age and Death," Afterthoughts, 1931

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.  ~Al Bernstein

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio.  If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.  ~Larry Lujack

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.  ~Dorothy Parker

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.  ~Erma Bombeck

Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.  ~Karen Savage and Patricia Adams, The Good Stepmother

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals.  If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.  ~Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals.  ~Unknown high school principal

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.  ~Doug Larson

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.  ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Mother Nature is providential.  She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.  ~William Galvin

The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.  ~Raymond Duncan

When the boy is growing he has a wolf in his belly.  ~German Proverb

In the time it takes you to understand a 14-year-old, he turns 15.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.  ~Fran Lebowitz

The teenager seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding.  ~Edgar Friedenberg, The Vanishing Adolescent

The invention of the teenager was a mistake.  Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.  ~Judith Martin

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure.  ~Dan Bennett

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.  Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.  ~Author Unknown

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet.  ~Judith Martin

Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.  ~Bob Phillips

The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.  ~Author Unknown

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.  ~Arnold H. Glasow

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.  ~Art Buchwald

It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.  ~Author Unknown

The average teenager still has all the faults his parents outgrew.  ~Author Unknown

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.  ~Henny Youngman

There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure.  ~Author Unknown

What a shame that allowances have to stop with the teens:  both those that are paid to us and those that are made for us.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory:  an empty gin bottle.  ~Erma Bombeck

You don't have to suffer to be a poet.  Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.  ~John Ciardi, Simmons Review, Fall 1962

I tell my child, if I seem obsessed to always know where you've been, it is because my DNA will be found at the scene.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does.  ~Lewis B. Hershey, News summaries, 31 December 1951

You can tell a child is growing up when he stops asking where he came from and starts refusing to tell where he is going.  ~Author Unknown

How strange that the young should always think the world is against them - when in fact that is the only time it is for them.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

At fourteen you don't need sickness or death for tragedy.  ~Jessamyn West